“I’ll Never Forgive Him (or Her)!”
Oh no no it’s not that I want to speak (write, literally) against someone I dont want to forgive. Then why this hate-filled title of this post? Read on and you’ll catch the point very soon.
Lately, I’ve got admission in master’s program (M.Com) in the university. All of my classmates were new for me. I’ve never met any of them in my life before. I consider all very gentle and good persons. I believe that everyone has his/her unique style of responding to different happenings around him/her. Everything was going fine (as is). All of my classmates are supportive. I often happen to interact with my teachers while in classroom. I, like everybody, started interacting with my classmates through cellfones and different social media, specially Facebook. Suddenly, I started receiving odd, discouraging comments from one of my female classmates on Facebook. Those comments read, “What do you consider yourself? You’re nothing! You are just pretending to be smart, otherwise you are a dull boring human…”. Guess how have I reacted? Yeah, I was surprised, obviously, because I wasn’t expecting such behavior. But I just deleted her comment and sent her a personal message which read, “I’m extremely sorry if I’ve done something wrong to you, but, I think, you should talk to me personally.”. And she again used foul language to which I didn’t respond and immediately blocked her.
“My primary relationship is with myself – all others are mirrors of it. As I learn to love myself, I automatically receive the love and appreciation that I desire from others. If I am committed to myself and to living my truth, I will attract others with equal commitment.” – Shakti Gawain, Reflections in the Light
The next day, I talked to her face-to-face about the matter and she told me that she was not that girl who was disturbing me. After discussing, I came to know that there was someone else who was using her name as fake profile of that girl. But I really didn’t know who was that, at that time. Then, I started receiving such comments from another male classmate (Name hidden because I dont wana hurt somebody). I talked about it to him. He became more and more harsh to me. He was the person who ill-used my female classmate’s name on Facebook. He used to threat me (for nothing). I have not done anything wrong to him that he might have done all this to take revenge. No buddy, this is not the case. I consider it was a case of jealousy or something like that. And you know, all for nothing! Some people are obstinate. But you know how I responded? Of course, I just deleted his comments and didn’t respond to him. When I didn’t notice his stupidities, he, then, made a 2-box photo. I was shown in one box and there was a dog in another. And the caption read, “Guess, Who’s a Dog? :)”. I still didn’t respond. And one classmate of my university-group named Ahsan Naseer asked me, “It’s enough! We guys are going to do something bad to him. How do you bear this all?” I just smiled and said, “It’s OK. I know he’s not doing good to me. But let’s forgive him and hope if he becomes good”. He was surprised to see my behavior. He said it’s not going to happen easily and if it happens, it’ll eat up my time and health (probably). But what to do? This is the best thing I could do. Involving in fights eats up more time and cause peaceful mind to blast.
After all this, he, now, has stopped saying something wrong to me. I put no attention on his acts and words. I have actually convinced him that he’s not a man who can destroy my peace in life. And I have also not hated him. After sometime, I’ve met him warmly with a nice and natural smile, because I’ve nothing against him in my mind.
Lessons Learned from the Story
1. The title “I’ll Never Forgive Him” was a big lie. Forgiving is better than forgetting. If you hate, you have bad stuff stinging on in your mind. And if you just ignore and forgive, your mind will be a ‘Powerful Peace HUB’. To quote myself, “Ignoring (bad things and people in life) is a key to peace.” What’s better? Decide it yourself.
2. Take everybody as a good person. Be social. But be aware of the happenings and people that’re harmful to you. Dont let others ruin your sweet moments in life. They are yours, adore them.
3. Be more and more consistent in doing good things and the least likely to do bad ones, you will bear fruit one day.
4. Appreciate yourself. Tell yourself you are good if you are. This is just like drinking milk-shake to boost energy.
5. Inspire others. Dont try foolishly to enjoy the life alone, you can’t. Tell other people what’s bad or good and why.
Some lesson(s) missed, I could highlight? Let me and others know in comments. I’m interested in learning how to get the best out of my life.