A Page from the Diary of a Job Hopper – Dawn Blogs

This post has been originally featured at dawn blogs with the same title.


“Tum tou larkiyo se bhi ziyada nazuk ho, tumhay tou larki paida hona chahiye tha”.

These were the soul-crushing, not to mention sexist, remarks that my first cousin expressed upon hearing news of my resignation from what was touted by many as the ‘dream job’ at the time of my joining.

After resigning from two achi naukris within a period of six months, I had earned a new identity from friends and family: the quitter.

But can I blame them? Not really.

I am always looking for ways to escape responsibility, commitment, intimacy, decision-making; simply taking any initiative at all.

No matter how hard I try, I find myself jumping from one job to another, unable to commit for longer periods, despite the sincerity of intention. I don’t know why, but all these jobs, though they appear all exciting and promising at first, turn out to be my most horrific nightmare as soon as the honeymoon period ends and the realities of the workplace catches up.

“Thori bohat baatein tou har jaga sunni parti hain.”

There comes my cousin’s final judgment. Although I have long been at the receiving end of such brickbats from friends and siblings, this one left me utterly gutted.

Also read: I didn’t want them to think I was crazy…

Obviously, no one wants to be labelled a ‘wuss’, no matter how callous or indifferent they pretend to be on the outside. And it seems possessing sentiment or emotion is a crime for the men in our society, which expects some sort of impervious strength from them at all times.

Nevertheless, after my cousin’s hurtful words, I decided I had to turn a new leaf. So I finally set to figuring out what was really going on with me.

Why does that intrinsic motivation to do what I actually want to be doing, keep slipping away?

Why can I not start a project, a hobby, a fitness plan despite knowing all the required steps to be undertaken?

Why am I intentionally choosing to not succeed and to be a socially inept loser?

Why I cant I just not step out of my comfort zone and break the tether of my routine prison?

En route to discovering the answers, I additionally discovered that I was not alone – around one-third of young Pakistani career-seekers suffer from the same problem.

However, the causes may vary from case to case; sheer laziness, job-personality mismatches, lack of long-term planning and most of all, passive-aggression, which experts believe can mess up your mind and habits to an extent where you forget what it was that you originally wanted to be/do.

Chrissy Scivicque in her blog Are You A Job Hopper? 3 Reasons Why You Can’t Stick It Out” says:

“Younger people especially who are going through a process of self-discovery tend to bounce from job to job as a way of exploring their options. When you don’t have a lot of experience, it’s hard to know what you’ll enjoy. Right after college for example, many people spend a few years in a state of transition. Job hopping during this period of time is nothing to worry about; it’s quite normal. Sometimes, the only way to know what you want in your career is to try a variety of things to determine what you don’t want.”

She further adds that people usually fail to use an appropriate level of discretion in their job search and simply accept the first job that offers them a decent paycheck. Then, they end up in a role that pays the bills but doesn’t satisfy them on any deeper level. So, very quickly, they find themselves back in the job market.

As far as procrastination is concerned, there are plenty of resources and self-help literature (both print and online) available for those who want to help themselves. Many motivational speakers out there seem to have a lot of fans, people who succeeded with their mentors’ career advice in fulfilling long-held dreams they had forgotten in a bid to fit into a profoundly sick society.

Read on: Ward off your blues

The problem for me and many others is that all this motivational spark does not last more than a day; willpower boosts fail to produce any magic in the face of the myriad distractions that newsfeeds, updates, ‘last seens’, breaking news and all the sensual machine-gunning that technology has introduced into our lives.

It is inescapable, suffocating and ceaseless.

As for the phenomenon called passive-aggression, that behaviour is an indirect expression of anger and envy towards a certain authority, which results in deliberate or repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is responsible.

It occurs most frequently in the workplace, where resistance is exhibited by such indirect behaviours as procrastination, forgetfulness, and purposeful or intentional inefficiency, especially in reaction to demands by authority figures. In this mode, people are perennial pessimists and regard every requirement and assigned task as an imposition. They resent authority figures (boss, teacher, parent-like spouse), feel enslaved by commitment, and oppose relationships that bind them in any manner.

And that is exactly my case.

Dredging up memories from childhood or stories I heard from my parents, I learned that I have always been this resentful toward anyone or anything that didn’t serve me right. There is a list of things that I abandoned just because I didn’t find them all that appealing, despite the pressures exerted by parents, teachers or at large by society itself.

For this, I have been called a lot of things. I have been lectured and tortured on a daily basis. Fortunately, I have grown to reason, to respond and to appropriately express my point of view.

Take a look: ‘Terrorism, violence aggravating issues of mental health’

Now that I have discovered why I cannot stick to a job, I have decided there is one thing I am never going to give up on: my mental peace. I am going to leave every job that I hate, I would happily do odd jobs for a living and I won’t apologise for who I am and for my decisions.

I know people around me (like my cousin) will get upset at me for not living by the society’s ‘standards’, but deep down, I am certain they wish they had the courage to do the same. This very feeling is so liberating.

For all the ‘screw-ups’ like me out there, I am quoting some words from Chetan Bhagat’s famous novel Five Point Someone: What not to do at IIT upon which the Rajkumar Hirani’s 3 idiots is also based:

“There is no point in having a good job or a fabulous career if your life becomes a living hell, there is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts, there is no point in getting a promotion on the day of your break-up, there is no joy in shopping if your brain is bursting. Life is like one of those races in nursery school where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth, if the marble falls there is no point in coming first.

“Same is with life where your health, relationships and mental peace are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive will start to die. One thing about nurturing the spark: don’t take life seriously as we are really temporary here. We are like a prepaid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years and that is just 2,500 weekends.So, don’t be serious, be sincere.”

If you wish to live the life you want, you have to leave behind the life you don’t want.

And trust me, you know what you want. Let no one decide that for you.


Photo Album: The Untold Story of Pakistan

This post contains rare photo-album about the untold story of Pakistan that will blow your mind! But if somehow, you are not able to open this post with ease; you can go to The Hidden Photo Album of Pakistan. The credit for such a rare and thoughtful collection of photos goes to Shahzeb Khan Khichi, it has been taken from his album on Facebook.

The Untold Story of Pakistan
The Untold and Forgotten Story of Pakistan

I have collected this rare photo-album about the untold story of Pakistan that will blow your mind! Pakistan used to be very liberal and free of racism, religious, cultural, regional conflicts. There used to be freedom of speech, act and other humanely stuff. Afterwords, the lovely homeland was captured by some extremists who gained power because of (sorry to say) illiterate and ignorant people and did according to the script given by enemies of humanity, our world – Pakistan. All this captured badly affected peace, politics, tourism, film industry and everything. Continue reading

New Year’s Resolutions for 2013 (Abdul Rauf)

New Year's Resolutions for 2013 (Abdul Rauf)

My New Year’s Resolutions for 2013 (Abdul Rauf)

I’ve Launched Website of Jalalpur Pirwala

This post is to let all of my Jalalpuri fellows know that I, with my friends, have launched website of Jalalpur Pirwala.

Website of Jalalpur Pirwala: http://www.jalalpur-pirwala.com/

So, Jalalpur-Pirwala.Com provides all kinds of information regarding the loveliest city town Jalalpur Pirwala.

Address/URL of Website of Jalalpur Pirwala: http://www.jalalpur-pirwala.com/

Launched by: Me (Abdul Rauf) with Waqas Mugheera Iqbal, Irfan Ahmed, Sohaib Mugheera Siddiqui, Faheem Siddiqui, Naeem Moavia Siddiqui

Special Thanks to: Ali Ammar Yasir, Asad Qureshi, Mushtaq sb, Asjad Qureshi and all friends, fb friends, Facebook Page Likers and JP’s FB Group mates.

I’m sure you’d LIKE:
Facebook Page of Jalalpur Pirwala:

Are You Afraid of Insecurities?

This is guest-post by Nadine Ly.

“Insecurity is a feeling of general nervousness that may be triggered by perceiving of oneself to be vulnerable in some way, or a sense of vulnerability or instability which threatens one’s self-image and ego” – Wikipedia

Let’s get straight. I want you to try a little experiment alongwith me. Are you ready?
Stay in front of mirror and take a look in it for a second. What do you notice? Do you see a beautiful person with great potential or an average-looking person with no or little potential?
If you see a beautiful and confident person, that’s great! You feel like you can conquer anything and can do what YOU want to. But I would like to address those of you who think they’re only ‘average’. Like you, I can also relate to feeling like “I don’t do enough” or “I’ll never be able to accomplish anything”. First of all, let’s clarify that what makes you think that way? Was there an experience in the past that made you think that way today?
There are two sayings that come to mind when I think about this: “We all have flaws” & “Nobody’s perfect”. I’ve heard it over and over and over and over, but it never really stuck to me. But, what I did to relieve this pain of over self-consciousness was to take these two sayings and tested them outside in the real world. What I found was pretty amazing! I noticed that when I talk to others it’s not like I pick apart all the imperfect details about them. I look at their entire image and don’t really care if they dress differently or look different than others. I see them positive way too.

Sometimes what we dislike in us is wanted by others the most. We’re all so busy looking at our own flaws and thinking everybody else notices and dislikes them that we never take the time to notice how much they mean to us. They might not seem great to you, but to someone else, your imperfections are flawless. We’re all beautiful people so take time out of your day today to appreciate your insecurities and I promise they won’t bother you as much anymore. Your insecurities might be your attributes.

Nadine Ly is a life lover and owns a website:Nadinee in which she shares different things on life. She’s an amateur blogger & YouTuber. You’d love visit her YT Channel: Fluky Inkling.

Learn Life From Young Pakistani: Interview with Arzu Chuhan

The Junior Executive at Multan Regional HQ of NADRA (National Database Registration Authority) of Pakistan, who turned 25 last week, manages to host different radio shows at a private radio channel, while supervising different youth groups like YPO etc and working for the betterment of society since the age 9, intends to join NGO to be a positive part of community, therefore also took part in Peace-for-All Network by ASAAN Foundation to spread peace. She holds Dilploma of Associate Engineering in Electronics alongwith some short-course-certifications of Computer Software & Hardware, Linux OS, Compute Graphics etc. She’s ambitious to be top Software Engineer of Pakistan.

You’re here to learn different life lessons and tips that this young multi-tasking Arzu Chuhan shares. She was kind enough to take time for this interview so that readers & I may learn life. I’m thankful to her for the favor. So let’s start.

Me(AbdolRauf): Thanks for taking time for this interview. Well tell me about yourself, your passion and positions you hold.
Arzu Chuhan: I’m thankful to you for the chance to share things in my life. [Read more in introduction paragraph please]

Me : You’re a multi-tasking girl, how do you manage stress?
A.C : Well, I love to work and I love helping others at my workplaces. To manage stress, do what you love and love what you do.

Me : Hmmm… Great. Let me know how to have winning attitude at workplace?
A.C : People, sometimes, find ways to impose additional work load on me; I normally get calm down and try to solve problems; sometimes with positive arguments and a smile only.

Me : Can you please point out 3 biggest mistakes that the youuth of our age is making?
A.C : Good questrion. Yes, these are:
1. Getting away from our culture and religion.
2. Using various media only for fun, thus spoling lots of time.
3. Spoiling time & energy in other unproductive ways.

Me : OK. As you’ve held various positions at an early age, I’d like you to share some tips for better career.
A.C : Yes of course.
-Spend more time & energy to gain knowledge rather than getting mere degrees.
-Manage your time carefully as I do.
-Learn from past; implement on future. I always review what I do.

You’d also love to visit: Some Life Lessons from Shahrukh Khan

Me : Wow. Great tips! What strategy you follow when you come across negative comments?
A.C : I’m thankful to those who let me know about the real wrong things in me. I do listen to their perceptions but I do what I want to.
You’d also love to visit: How to Face Difficult People

Me : What do you tell yourself when you are discouraged and want to stay motivated?
A.C : I discuss discouraging statements/acts with some of my very good friends who give me motivation. I always tell myself, “Dont stop till the last minute. Because we really feel tiresome when we’re somewhere near to success. Chances are rare; never ever let them go unavailed.”

Me : Superb! Can you please let me know more about your future plans?
A.C : Firstly, my plan is to start my career as Software Engineer (Inshallah in coming up year). Secondly, I love to be social worker therefore gonna join some NGO for that; want to change the world positively. Thirdly, I want to spend more time with my family and friends.

Me : May Allah bless you achieve them. Share some of your favorite quotes.
A.C : My favorite quotes are:
“Opportunity is swift flight; but slow to return.” (Hazrat ali (RA)
when relation is new, people find reasons to meet. But when its gets older, people find excuses to avoid meeting.It’s strange but true.

You’d also love to visit: Top Life Quotes

Me : Great. Let’s say you’re on a radio show and you have only 30 seconds to deliver your msg, what would it be?
A.C : Yes it would be, “Take care of yourself (Because if you take care of yourself, then others will take care of you.) and the relations around you. Remember me in your prayers.”

Me : Thanks so much for sharing practical tips and lessons of your life.
A.C : Thank you so much for having me and giving me valuable chance to share them.

You’d also love to visit: Power of Attitude of Gratitude

Was this interview helpful in learning things in life? What’s the thing that you like the most in Arzu Chuhan? I’d love to know what’s your favorite life lesson/tip in this interview in comments?

Power of Attitude of Gratitude

“Gratitude or gratefulness is feeling, emotion or attitude in acknowledgement of a benefit that one has received or will receive.” – Wikipedia
The Creator of the Universe has provided us with all of the benefits that we need in order to live a happy and a healthy life. Now these are ‘We’ who have made our world so much greedy that we have changed our happinesses. Media has also played its role regarding this. Now different commercials let us know what we need badly and what we not. This is ‘we’ who to decide but such commercials provoke us to get a luxurious car if we really want to be happy. Now, I’m not trying to convince you not to buy cars, furniture even if needed.i just wana say that these are not the real reasons behind your happinesses. Happiness is a feeling. Thankfulness is also a feeling. Simplifying, apart from artificial worldy stuff, there’re thousands of thousands of things that we should be thankful for. This is not problem that we dont have benefits to be thankful for; but the problem is that we dont acknowledge them. We’ve forgot simple natural stuff in this crazy going world of materialism. I simply want you to be grateful for every aspect of life. Why? Because:

Attitude of gratitude helps you understand the nature
To be grateful, you are to acknowledge things. You’ll begin to search and seek out the things that are near you. This is the way you can understand the nature. More things you’ll find, more thankful you will become for them.
And Allah (God) says in Quran, “If you’ll be more thankful, I’ll give you more.”

Gratitude makes your relationships more strong
Social needs are those basic needs that human-beings own; this is why they’re designated as social animals. If need is fulfilled, man gets happy. And more happy you are; more will be the people around you and vice versa.
He has not thanked Allah (The God), who has not thanked people” – Holy Prophet Hazrat Mohammad SAW
You’ll be grateful for little or bigger gifts and acts by the people around you; stronger relations you own. Dont you get happy when you’re thanked?

Gratitude attracts what we want
This is universal law that more focus you put on things, more they’ll be attracted to you. And if you think about the things that you’re thankful for; you will ultimately attract that closer. Be grateful for things you have and even for the things you dont have.

More Gratitude, Less Aggression
If you google, you’ll come to know that recent researches have shown that being more grateful makes you less aggressive. Apart from these studies, you must have experienced this. If not, then experience it; I bet you will enjoy.

Gratitude reduces negativity
A guy has lost his leg and you might think how frustrated guy he must be. But if he replies, “Thank God, I’ve not lost my second leg”, you must get surprised how positive he is. Do you get why? Because he’s thankful. Gratitdde always reduces negativity. In bad situations, you always need positive behavior, but chances of negative thoughts are higher; because the situations are bad. A thankful guy can handle these situation more suitably.

“Grateful people have more energy and optimism and are less bothered by life’s hassles.” – Founder of Success Consciousness

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more, if you concentrate on what you dont have, you’ll never ever have enough.” – Oprah Winfrey

“It’s not happy people who are thankful, it’s thankful people who are happy” MY Favorite Gratitude Quote by Unknown Writer

“There’s always to be thankful for, if you cannot pay bills, you can be thankful you are not one of your creditors” The Quote From Unknown Writer That Inspired Me To Write This Post

Here’s the shortest list of the things to be grateful for:

-Parents: for producing you and growing you up.

-Family: for being the closest kinship in the world.

-Friends: for sharing bad and good time.

-5 Senses; for letting you know/feel the world around you.

-Speech: for letting world know what’s inside you.

-Immune System: for making you away from diseases etc.

-Sexual System: for reproducing and pleasure.

-Heart; for pumping blood

-100s of other parts of body; to make you complete human machine.

-Sun: for getting light and heat from it.

-Rain: for waters etc.

-Animals; that you use for transport, food etc.

-Shoes: for comfort.

-Kind strangers: for giving you sweet memory.

-Love: for you can feel that you are alive.

-Job: for being the source of your living, food, clothes etc.

-Movies: for learning morals etc.

-Oxygen: for you breathe through.

-Transport: for saving your time and much energy, etc.

-Internet: to exchange ideas, knowledge, memories, services etc with the globe.

And the list is limitless, share the things that you’re thankful for in comments. I’d love to read them: